is your mom at the bar?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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