How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
