arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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