Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
