Got a toothbrush?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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