I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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