when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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