You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
