The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wannas sexs uuuuu
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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