when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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