The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
