Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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