You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
