There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
