lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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