He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
