I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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