so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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