Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
