No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
