you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
