:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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