So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
