Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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