ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize