Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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