Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So vagazzling was a success
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
