school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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