Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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