well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
