i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
