JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Who died my cat blue again?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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