Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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