everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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