yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
