let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We have started to decorate penises.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
