I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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