Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
