She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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