Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
