weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
