Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
smell my finger.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
