My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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