tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
