if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
