eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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