didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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