That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
