And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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