Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize