YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
