My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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