Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
