I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
