Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
