he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
