her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
